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You still haunt me.

Even when you’ve done something as wrong as this, and when all is irreversible, I still feel pangs of guilt when it comes to feeling a certain way about you. There are just so many ways to look at you, but none are good.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything to work more than this, or for anything to go back to it’s original state than this, but I was wrong. I do want a family. I don’t want to act like I don’t care about home. I want to come back to a happy place and not some eerie chamber of secrets. I want to be open and tell stories of my family to other people. But I can never do that. Because you fucked up.

Have you ever given a thought about this family? I truly hope you have, because then you would still have a chance to turn over a new leaf and start your life anew.

I don’t care what you say or how you act. A leopard never changes its spots. We all know that now cos we learned it the hard way.

I do feel something for you, but it’s only pity. I may be going to hell for that but I’ll take it. I don’t regret all those names I called you, or the curses I flung at you.

I don’t know what to do, or what to say. Wish I’d stop crying forever.

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