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help, guys i’m feeling really sad. help

IT’S NOW CRYSTAL CLEAR

it’s been three weeks

TONY TAKITANI

reading a book cos i’m not studying. i’m totallyyyyy going to flunk IEF i so know it. i haven’t been studying since saturday omg someone shoot me.

i feel like crap.

it’s getting better it’s getting worst. it never gets better until it gets worst. does that make sense?

i’m feeling better thanks to ZING cos she really made me forget about the unhappiness for a while, and i think in the past few weeks this is the first time i’m calm. i don’t know if tomorrow will be the same, but i hope i will be able to focus on studying. and not thinking of useless thoughts every two minutes.

treading on ice baby

LOOM

yay mother to the rescue hahaha she’s so explosive she went upstairs and scolded the ‘neighbours’. hahahaha she’s so fuming mad she’s damn crazy mad cos apparently they skip like elephants early in the morning at 6 am. hahahahahaha omg this totally made my day fucking funny she’s so angry she’s like so mad. oh mummy.

Blasphemy

hope the stupid girl upstairs skipping and being an inconsiderate human being will knock into something fall over and bleed. i’m not even kidding. she just keeps skipping. isn’t there a rule against bothering your neighbours? stupid kid.

Metamorphosis

the inability to concentrate is driving me crazy i don’t think i have time to take a break but i’m going to do it anyway because i can’t focus on on what i’m supposed to be reading. it really sucks to think about you. i lay in bed last night unable to sleep for at least half an hour and i kept thinking to myself that it’s over, and i can’t get to sleep because i’m thinking to myself why why why. and then i tell myself maybe it’s not over you’re just not saying anything, but it’ll hurt more to hang on to any hopes.

i really thought i was dying last night, i felt myself thinking a lot of dark things. it was pretty much like thinking of just a random thing and then suddenly i would kill it. and blood would drip everywhere and stain everything black. it’s so nasty i was so shocked that i could think of something like that. i’m really going crazy i’m so stressed up about the exams and i am living in constant denial – an emotional struggle that shouldn’t deserve a name.

i was convinced i was dead last night. i was so tired but i couldn’t sleep. it’s as if my soul literally tore itself apart from this shattered being and was floating about, creating noises like knocks, scaring the daylights out of the shell left behind.

i’m really really really tired of waiting it’s not good for me at all. at least relieve me of this pain. just tell me now. i don’t need to wait till you have the time for me and have to tell me that this is not what you want.

i had a dream last night again and thankfully i can’t remember what it was about, but i think i was on a roller-coaster. maybe i was alone maybe i wasn’t. i can’t remember and i’m glad i can’t remember anything.

ennui through and through

To Obliterate

How?

FIREFLY

the nightmares are getting the better of me

last night i dreamt of you. you called me fiona. fiona? i mean, are you serious?  to make everything worst, i dreamt of my uncle who passed away 9 years ago.

WHY